Last night Josh and I were talking about our new life in Colorado Springs. I said that some days I feel like I have had my legs chopped off below my knees, and I am walking on nubs around Colorado Springs. I am still searching for purpose, relationships, and connection. Josh and I both had a good laugh especially when I concluded, "And my nubs hurt! Some days I feel like I am getting nowhere."
So the picture of me walking on just my knee nubs was pretty comical, but I know deep down that that is how I feel sometimes. The reason I still have the rest of my body is because Josh has filled me to the core with his love, perseverance, patience, and understanding. The fact that I am walking on nubs has nothing to do with him. Some days I feel frustrated that God would put me in a new place when he knows that I need people. But my mother-in-law recently enlightened me that maybe God is trying to pull me closer to Him and teach me what it means to really trust Him. Maybe He doesn't want me to be around as many people right now. I have always relied on a bunch of people to be around me to give me purpose, hope, love, and community, but maybe God doesn't want that for me right now. Patient endurance is my key phrase right now. I am so privileged to know so many people who have learned patient endurance in the Lord. I am inspired by their trust, and I pray that I will learn that too and not be stuck in a rut.
As for the future, I get to spend this weekend with my in-laws and next week back at Dordt College. I hope to get some good relational and social time in the near future. To God be all the glory.
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