The Joy of Singing

This past weekend, Josh and I sang in the Colorado Springs Chorale's "Deck the Hall" concert. We performed at the Pikes Peak Center in downtown Colorado Springs. It was such a good turnout and a wonderfully fun concert. A bell choir from a nearby city joined us as well; their performance was so amazing and interesting to watch. Someday, I think I might want to try being in a bell choir....maybe when I'm old and my voice is too warbly. Josh and I both had solos in the performance, which made it an extra special event for us.

On Saturday, we went to a small town called Cripple Creek to perform some selections from our concert at the Baptist church. Cripple Creek is an old mountain mining town, with a lot of old history...and a lot of casinos. Nevertheless, I found the little town charming. I found the little church we sang in even more charming. People from all over that mountainous area came to hear us, and they packed that little church to the brim. The concert was free, and donations were being taken for a local charity in need. Singing in that church was one of the most joyous things I have done in a long time. The people were closing their eyes, laughing, singing along, and joining in our musical celebration of Christmas. They were a warm a hospitable people, and so many people came up to me afterwards to thank us for singing. I was filled with joy and satisfaction that I had made these people happy with singing.

It has been a long, dusty road since moving to Colorado. I have never questioned my abilities and my faith more than I have in these recent months. But something about singing in that church with all of those people gave me hope. I felt truly joyful to be here. I felt at peace about moving here with Josh. Singing for the glory of God and the true meaning of Christmas was a true joy. I thought, "If this was all I did to celebrate Christmas, I would be content." I would be content to know that I had given all of my voice to Jesus to celebrate his birth with these humble people. "They sound like angels from heaven," was one comment made by an audience member. The angels sang the of Jesus' birth that very first Christmas, and we are still doing it today. Praise the Lord for his faithfulness in our lives. I know he is being faithful to me this Christmas. He gave me what I needed--HOPE. Hope that Josh and I are in the right place. No matter how hard some days feel, I have hope that God has a good future for us here. I just need to be patient enough to let it happen.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Christmas is Here!

On Friday, Josh and I did some Christmas baking in our apartment. We also made a pizza that looked like a snowman and watched "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." We are celebrating Christmas in full swing and having a great time. Christmas makes us both giddy and happy. But we absolutely can't wait to celebrate Christ's birth and great gift with our families in a few weeks.

Josh and I also spent a night in downtown Denver. We booked a hotel for one night that had a package to get discount VIP tickets to the Van Gogh gallery at the Denver Art Museum. After we visited to art gallery, we were walking around town and noticed a lot of people gathering along the streets. We had no idea that Saturday night was the night for Denver's Parade of Lights. After a nice dinner out, we joined the masses to watch the parade of lights and floats go down Denver's downtown streets.

The next day we slept in and went to a nearby cafe for brunch. Then we went to the Buell Theatre to watch "White Christmas" the musical. The tickets to the show were a wedding gift from Josh's sister, Joy, and her husband, Philip. It was a wonderful show and ended up being one of the best weekends we've had since we moved to Colorado. I will share some pictures of our fun weekend.

MERRY CHRISTMAS and GOD BLESS YOU THIS SEASON!

 

Water Beds and Lemonade

            Waking up to the rays of the sun beaming bright against the Rockies. Finally having our apartment pulled together and decorated in a homey fashion. Getting to know wonderful people at church. Having many opportunities to explore the city and surrounding area. Teaching in a classroom where I feel comfortable. Being part of a professional choir with my husband. Experiencing God’s peace in life…

…these are all of the things I am thankful for since moving to Colorado Springs.

I feel like I’m walking on a water bed sometimes…I keep looking down at my feet hoping the next step won't send me flying off the bed. I keep hoping my next decision, choice, or hope will land me on something more solid. Sometimes it's fun walking on the water bed, and sometimes I just start feeling sick to my stomach from the instability. 

Moving away from home still has had its challenges. Josh and I are feeling more and more comfortable every day we live here. It doesn't take away the fact that I still love and want to know my family back in Idaho and get to know Josh’s family better. Thank goodness for technology. If I had tried to do this 100 years ago with no Skype or cell phone, I would have quit a long time ago. Thank you, Lord, for useful technology!

Last week, we celebrated Thankgiving with family friends in high prairie and mountains of Fairplay, CO. Josh’s sister, Joy, and brother-in-law, Philip, were there as well. It was gorgeous up there, and so relaxing. Being up at 10,000 feet altitude was also an adventure. I had the worst headache of my life. Next time I will make sure to drink lots of water, even if I’m not thirsty. Now only a few weeks until it will be Christmas break. We will be taking a whirlwind trip to both Minnesota and Idaho during our break. I am SO excited to see my family again. It has been WAY too long.

Student teaching has had many ins and outs as I get to know the profession better. The dynamics of administration, teacher, and students really help make up the character and reputation of the school. I still feel like a novice when in comes to logistics in the teaching world. Teaching the content is becoming more and more easy every day, but I often feel overwhelmed with all of the office and administration work required of the teacher. I am getting used to some of that, but I have a feeling my first year of teaching will be a crash course in boring paperwork.

Every week is a bit tiring for both Josh and I. By Friday all we want to do is relax. We usually borrow a movie from the library or Redbox and have pizza. Oh, how I love those moments of peace and relaxation. Every day seems like a battle to defeat the negative thoughts that Satan likes to wiggle into my brain. Something may go wrong, but I’m learning to take it as, “Wow…another piece of life fitting into the puzzle.” I have also learned through this that I have a choice as to how I respond to problems or hard times. I can either let it ruin my day, or I can turn the lemons into lemonade (I might get a little more creative and add some strawberries to it and make it strawberry lemonade). The point being, God has given me the tools, faith, and grace to make it through each day, no matter how hard. Thankfully I have my best friend by my side every day to help me through those tougher than tough moments—love you, Josh! Thanks for being patient with me in these first few months of marriage!  It will be 4 months this week!

This is how you know...

I know I have the most loving, caring, and selfless husband in the world. Monday night (or very early Tuesday morning) I began throwing up everything I had eaten for dinner. I had food poisoning, and it was wreaking havoc on my body for about 3 hours straight. Josh stayed awake with me and held back my hair while I continued to empty my stomach into the trash can. He then cleaned everything up after I was done. No girl ever actually dreams of this happening, but she does wonder when she gets married...how will he act when I am sick? I wasn't too worried, but this just confirmed how blessed I am to have Josh as my husband. I am now very confident that we will be able to love each other in sickness and in health. Not only this, but Josh proceeded to get sick after me. He never threw up, but we both stayed home from work yesterday because we both were feeling gross and completely exhausted.

So ladies, if your man is willing to stand by you in your most disgusting and weakest moment, you know he is a true winner. This is how you know you are blessed with a loving husband who is a man after God's own heart.

Walking on Nubs

Last night Josh and I were talking about our new life in Colorado Springs. I said that some days I feel like I have had my legs chopped off below my knees, and I am walking on nubs around Colorado Springs. I am still searching for purpose, relationships, and connection. Josh and I both had a good laugh especially when I concluded, "And my nubs hurt! Some days I feel like I am getting nowhere."

So the picture of me walking on just my knee nubs was pretty comical, but I know deep down that that is how I feel sometimes. The reason I still have the rest of my body is because Josh has filled me to the core with his love, perseverance, patience, and understanding. The fact that I am walking on nubs has nothing to do with him. Some days I feel frustrated that God would put me in a new place when he knows that I need people. But my mother-in-law recently enlightened me that maybe God is trying to pull me closer to Him and teach me what it means to really trust Him. Maybe He doesn't want me to be around as many people right now. I have always relied on a bunch of people to be around me to give me purpose, hope, love, and community, but maybe God doesn't want that for me right now. Patient endurance is my key phrase right now. I am so privileged to know so many people who have learned patient endurance in the Lord. I am inspired by their trust, and I pray that I will learn that too and not be stuck in a rut.

As for the future, I get to spend this weekend with my in-laws and next week back at Dordt College. I hope to get some good relational and social time in the near future. To God be all the glory.

He Said

Summer was a whirlwind! I can't believe all that has happened in the last month. I got married, went on a honeymoon, moved to a new city AND state, flew to Minnesota for our reception, and started a student teaching job. Right now, I am sick at home, missing my home and my family. Being married to Josh has been wonderful, and I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world. But I didn't realize until now how hard so many changes can be. Some days I am so busy, I don't even have time to think about it. Days like today, where I am home alone, I think about it a lot.

It has been hard adjusting to a new city, a new apartment, new bed, new set of responsibilities, new climate and altitude, and a new husband. Sometime I wonder how I can ever deal with all of this. I know the only One keeping me afloat right now is God. I COULD NOT do this without him. Things also come up unexpectedly, like a family tragedy. The night Josh and I came back from Minnesota, I got a heartbreaking call from my dad. My sister-in-law's sister, Anne, died fighting wildfires in northern Idaho. A tree fell on her and killed her instantly. I had only met Anne once, at my brother and sister-in-law's wedding, but I was really upset. My sister-in-law had already lost her father several years ago from complications of sledding injury. I was heartbroken for her family and weeped for them. With so much going on around me, and so much stress coming with moving and student teaching, the bad news was the tip of the iceberg.

Several weeks later, I know things are getting better. Josh and I have had some fun and wonderful moments where we can laugh and enjoy each others company. Other moments, I don't know how to feel. I miss my family and friends. I miss familiar surroundings. I miss the comforts of being around familiar people. I miss Idaho's beauty, even though Colorado Springs is beautiful as well. I feel alone in a very big place, and I have never dealt with homesickness before. I am getting used to living here, and the other day, I thought to myself, "This could be home." That is a big step for me, to even think that.

God has been the one to see me through all of this, and I know he is using this time to draw me closer to Him and to make me stronger in my faith. Some day I wonder, "Why am I here God? This doesn't exactly feel good right now!" I know God brought Josh and I here for a reason. I know our marriage will be stronger because we have to lean on one another so much. We have to rely on one another for enduring love and support when we have no one else around us to cheer us on. I thank God for giving me such a wonderful, understanding, and caring man such as Josh. I would not have been able to move to such a new place if it wasn't for his strength and support.

There has been a song that has been keeping me going through the summer. It is called "He Said" by Group 1 Crew. It talks about humans having to go through hard times, but always remembering that God will never give us more than we can handle. He will remain by our side. He will lift us up when we fall down. I have held onto that promise these last few weeks, and I will not forget it. Listen.

The Wedding Day Approaches

It's only 9 days until I marry an amazing man of God, Joshua Pearson. Months ago, this day felt so far away, and I felt safe from the pressures of the wedding and an upcoming marriage. I feel as prepared as I can be to become Josh's wife. I know we both have a lot to learn and much that God wants to show us in our special bond.

I am a bit nervous to take this big step, especially since we are moving to a new state away from family and friends. I feel a bit overwhelmed by wedding day preparations and all of the events coming up in the next week. But I know that this where God has led me since March of 2010 when Josh and I met. He has led us to this point, and I am excited to begin this new journey with the man that I love so dearly. Amidst all of the changes, I feel less and less in control of my life...but this is a good thing. I feel like I am taking a leap of faith by letting myself become completely vulnerable to someone. But God has me on a rope, securely fastened to Him. He will not let me fall in His grand plan for me. He will not let me go as I begin this new step in life. I know that by taking this leap of faith, I am allowing God to use Josh to mold me and shape me into a better Christian, a better friend, a better wife, and eventually, a better mother. Josh is following God's lead as well. His confidence in God's plan for our lives is so encouraging and reassuring. My main goal in life is to follow God's direction for my life, no matter where it takes me.

Next week, when I say my vows to Josh, I know I will be making one of the best decisions of my life, and I will be following God's great plan for my life. He has given me hope and a future in marrying Josh, and I can't wait until we get to start it officially next week. Praise the Lord for his faithfulness, and for bringing me here 2 and half years after meeting Josh. Praise him for his guidance in all of our lives. Praise him for his goodness. Praise him for his everlasting love. God, I will praise thee on the wedding day and all the days of my life.

Up in Smoke

Today, I am watching my new home be filled with smoke from afar. The Colorado Springs area is being filled with smoke from a nearby fire that is burning over 5 square miles and over 3,000 acres. Even though I don't officially lived there yet, and have only ever been in the area for about 5 days, my heart goes out to the city and the victims of the fire.

I, and many others, are praying for the 600 firefighters and 70 pilots who are fighting fires across the state of Colorado. I don't want my new state to burn!

Dear Father,

As the weather gets hotter today and the winds continue, please bring your hand down upon Colorado. Help the firefighters to keep up their endurance and strength as they fight to contain these fires. Blow the smoke out of the valley so people can breathe. Save the many homes that may be consumed by the fire. Lord, please bring your powerful and mighty hand down to stop these fires from burning anymore ground. Please bring rain that can help stop the fires from continuing in their destructive path. Keep all the people affected safe from harm. God, we trust in you and give you all of the glory. Thank you Father. Amen.

Please keep praying about these fires. Josh can see the smoke billowing behind the hills as he goes to work. He also went to a church this past Sunday that was taking in evacuees. He said he's doing his best to keep the smoke smell out of our apartment. The whole state of Colorado is in a red flag warning, and we need to pray for God's wisdom and strength. To God be all the glory forever.

Giving Up Control

Dear Reader:

In the past few weeks I have learned a valuable principle of God’s truth. This truth is preached in churches across the world several times each Sunday, and a thousand times a year. This truth is the principle of God’s sovereignty and control. It’s a truth Christians will hear an almost annoying amount of times from the pulpit throughout their lifetime. I have heard more sermons on the subject of worry and God’s control than any other subject. For someone like me, who struggles with chronic worry and anxiety, I hang onto every word of those sermons. I keep hoping that the next one will really change me around and get rid of my die-hard habit. Much to my dismay, this usually isn’t the case. Most often, I feel lifted up and victorious for a time—maybe a week or two at best—but the worry always comes back.

The time when I feel God’s hand working the most is when I make mistakes. It usually means going through some pain and being humbled, but I think God knows that this is how I learn best. These past few weeks have been very humbling as I am in the limbo stage of my transitioning life. Change especially brings on a good bout of worry in my mind. With a wedding and a new marriage, a move to a different state, and starting new jobs--worry and anxiety can be rampant in my mind and spiritual life.

Every person is different; we all have different reasons why we worry. I worry because I foolishly believe that it gives me some kind of control of my life. Why wouldn’t I want to have control over my life? Why wouldn’t I want to live in a bubble of safety, comfortableness, and familiarity? This is the American dream! The American dream is to be financially secure, have a safe house with my own backyard, live in a safe neighborhood in a safe city, and have a safe career. The American dream means striving for social, financial, and vocational security. Everything about American culture tells us to think about ourselves and be in control. We can keep ourselves safe from aging by getting Bot-ox and buying millions of body products. We can keep ourselves safe from rejection and social ridicule by putting on airs. We can keep ourselves safe in our jobs by rising to the top without any care for others. We can keep ourselves safe from pain in relationships by never opening up, never committing to marriage, and keeping ourselves at a distance from our loved ones. We can keep ourselves safe from God’s will by never engaging in relationship with him (this is the most painful and dangerous one). Sometimes we don’t always want to know where God is going to take us…

We are selfish, and we don’t want to give ourselves completely up to Him. I am guilty of this, but God is breaking me. I know that God has my best interest in mind, but do I truly believe it? This is the question I am facing now in this time of limbo and major transition. It’s a tough question, and God isn’t going to let me go until I believe the truth that I know in my heart. He wants all of the control, not just some of the control in my life. Like I am being vulnerable and invisible with you, dear reader, God wants the same thing. He wants complete abandon and vulnerability. I challenge you to ask yourself the same question I am. It’s worth the risk, and I’m always up for an adventure. And with God, I know it will be the adventure of a lifetime. 

Divinely Designed Work

This week was Josh's first week in the real work force. He started a new job as Associate Engineer at a small electrical engineering company only a few miles from our apartment. So far he is really enjoying it as he gets to know the ropes of the company, the computer programs, and his co-workers. I had the pleasure of meeting some of them last week when Josh and I dropped by for a quick visit. His boss and several of the engineers that we met were very kind and excited for Josh to be joining them. One thing that caught my immediate attention was that they have bowls of candy EVERYWHERE. There were bowls of Reese's, bowls of Almond Joys, bowls of hard candies, bowls of Skittles...you name it! I was thinking, "Wow! They must really keep these engineers energized and motivated with sugar!" They also have two pantries/kitchens that are stocked with food. I am very relieved to know that Josh will not starve while he is at work!

I have been hard at work this week as well. Of course...I am spending money rather than making it while I work. This week has been busy with wedding planning. Monday, I finished the last of the invitations and went shopping for the bridesmaid shoes. Tuesday, I met with the rental coordinator for our tables and linens, as well as did some wine tasting with my parents at Ste. Chapelle Winery where Josh and I are getting married. Wednesday was my first dress fitting. Thursday I met with the florist, and I finally took a break today. The wedding is my job right now, and I was reminded of that by my student teaching coordinator at Dordt as well.

I still do not have a set placement for my student teaching in the fall. One school is set for the first half of the semester, as long as we can find something for the second half. When I am not thinking about the wedding, I am thinking about it and maybe worrying about it too much. I want to help find a school, but it is difficult when I am so far away. When I asked my coordinator if I could be of any help, she simply told me to be patient and to focus on the wedding. I agreed with her, but sometimes those words can be hard to swallow when you are a person of initiative. 

I know God has a plan for me in the fall as well. In this period of waiting for a student teaching placement, as well as waiting to be with Josh (doing the whole long-distance thing can be very tough), God is teaching me to rely completely and unreservedly on Him. He is showing me the patience that can only come from Him. Even though I am not working a real paying job, planning for a wedding and a marriage are just as noble and important. Josh is "bringing home the bacon" and preparing for our future as God created him to do. I couldn't be more proud of him and his new job! And I am still playing an important part as I prepare for our new life with a wonderful wedding. Like Rosie the Riveter would say, "We Can Do It!"

Our New Home

Last week, Josh, his parents (Connie and Ralph), and I made the trip out to Colorado Springs to find an apartment and move in Josh's stuff and some of my stuff. After a 2 hour flight for me, and a 14 hour drive for them, we made it to the Springs.

When we arrived last Wednesday morning we thought that our first selection was going to be our new home, but after seeing the second apartment complex, we were completely surprised by our decision. Our new apartment complex is perfect for the two of us and is literally minutes away from EVERYTHING. I could walk to the nearest Walmart if I wanted to. Our new 2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment is dainty in size, but will serve well as our first home together.

Here is living room and kitchen area. Much of the furniture you see was found within a day of signing the lease. We were lucky in our finds and yard sale, thrift store, and consignment shops. We had a frenzy trying to find stuff in one day, but it was well worth it.

Our guest bathroom

Master bedroom

Master bathroom (smaller than the guest bathroom- you lucky guests!)

Kitchen (with wonderful new appliances) and laundry room in the back closet

Living room with fireplace and porch (love it!!!)

And our new dining room table!

In these pictures, there is stuff everywhere because we were still unpacking. Josh is living there right now, so there isn't much to look at yet. He is baching (bacheloring) it for a while-- until JULY 28! I can't wait to decorate, find picture for the walls, and have everything set up in the right place.

One of the things Josh and I have prepared for is being a little lonely when we move to Colorado Springs without any connections. I know we will both miss our families terribly, and it will take some time to adjust. But after seeing this apartment, I know that it will be a cozy place to call home and find peace and serenity. Right now, it is in the good hands of Josh as we await my move in at the beginning of August. We are praying for a smooth transition into our new home. Your prayers are very much appreciated too! 

What's in a name?

"What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;"

- William Shakespeare in Romeo & Juliet

Many of you may be wondering why I chose the title "Fresh Paint." Just as William Shakespeare describes in one of his most famous works, this title is filled with sweet metaphors and future stories. First of all, I chose the name to reflect the stage of life Josh and I are in right now as we start off fresh. We are starting a new life by getting married, starting new jobs, and moving to an unfamiliar place--Colorado Springs.

Secondly, and more importantly, I wanted the title to reflect the meaning of our lives in Christ. With Christ in our lives, we can start fresh every day. Every morning we wake up, God gives us a fresh new paint can and a blank wall or blank canvas. It doesn't matter what paint we used or what mistakes we made on our wall the day before because God renews us every day, and we can let Him restore us every day. This is what I hope to write about and reflect on as Josh and I take on a new journey together. We hope, as a couple, to lean on God's promises and gift of grace every day, no matter what the past has brought us. We only have the present and the future to focus on, and we believe God is faithful to lead us to His purpose for our lives.

Josh and I invite you, our family and friends, to join us on this journey and reading about our growth and progress in Colorado Springs, Colorado. We love you all and thank you for your support!